Love Eyes

Originally written 2/18/2016

My wife was helping my youngest boy organize his bookshelves recently. Seeing all of those beat-up books brought back memories of countless hours spent reading to all three of my once tiny kids. Right in the middle of the shelf was a solid brick of 8x8 square Berenstain Bears stories. They had titles like, “The Berenstain Bears Get In a Fight” or “…Go To Camp”, but once in a while, they would deal with something more delicate or sensitive and the bears would be drawn with caring, half-closed eyes with long lashes. We would point and say, “Look, they’ve got their love eyes on.” These “love eyes” would be employed when the bears were gazing upon newly born animals, when they found out that Mama was having a baby, or when they talked about Jesus. It was mostly Mama that flashed the love eyes but Papa, Brother, and Sister have occasionally been known to whip them out.

The other side of the spectrum was the slack-jawed expression, also with half-closed eyes, without the expressive eyelashes. This indicated a slovenly demeanor or in instances when Brother, Sister, and insultingly, Papa indulged in “Too Much Junk Food”, “Too Much T.V.”, or had “Trouble With Chores.” Sometimes Papa would slip back into some bad habits and Mama would have to implore him to get his shit together and back her up on whatever chore chart, healthy snacks, or T.V. alternative she came up with. When the rest of the family was sufficiently bent to her will, their lives would improve and order would be restored.

Our favorite part of storytime was getting to the end page where every other Berenstain Bears book was listed along with the phrase, “Collect Them All!” I would then read every title as fast as I could and collapse out of breath at the end. We would laugh and then I’d tuck them in.

Personally, I have only had to put on my love eyes a few times. Usually, I have the slack-jawed expression. You can find me in the following titles:

“Jeffrey Bear and the Inappropriate Comment”

“When Are You Going To Shave, Jeffrey Bear?”

“The Great Grocery Goof-Up”

“Trouble With the Thermostat”

“Half-Assed Hullabaloo”